Joke Category Bath jokes

What criminal doesn't take baths? A dirty crook.

Doctor: And did you drink your medicine after your bath, Mrs Soap? Mrs Soap: No, doctor. By the time I'd drunk the bath there wasn't room for ...

Mom: Joe, time for your medicine. Joe: I'll run the bath then. Mom: Why? Joe: Because on the bottle it says "to be taken in water."

Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them ? Stan: In the bathroom Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a ba...

How do vampire football players get the mud off? They all get in the bat-tub.

Does your brother keep himself clean? Oh, yes. He takes a bath every month whether he needs one or not.

A man walked into a lodge in Yellowstone National Park. 'Can you give me a room and bath?' he asked the clerk. 'I can give you a room,' the cle...

Adam: How did Mummy know you hadn't had a bath? Eve: I forgot to dirty the towel, wet the soap and flood the bathroom.

Are you going to take a bath? No, I'm leaving it where it is.

Boy: Dad, dad, there's a spider in the bath. Dad: What's wrong with that? You've seen spiders before. Boy: Yes, but this one is three feet wid...

Did you hear about the idiot who had a new bath put in? The plumber said, "Would you like a plug for it?" The idiot replied, "Oh, I didn't k...

Doctor: And did you drink your medicine after your bath, Mrs Soap? Mrs Soap: No, doctor. By the time I'd drunk the bath there wasn't room for ...

Doctor: The best time to take a bath is before retiring. Patient: You mean I don't need another bath until I'm sixty-five?

Doctor: Your system needs freshening up a bit. I suggest you take a cold bath every morning. Patient: Oh, but I do, doctor. Doctor: You ...

Does your brother keep himself clean? Oh, yes. He takes a bath every month whether he needs one or not.

Dr Frankenstein: I've just invented something that everyone in the world will want! You know how you get a nasty ring around the bathtub every...

Hotel guest: Can you give me a room and a bath, please? Porter: I can give you a room, but you'll have to wash yourself.

How do vampire football players get the mud off? They all get in the bat-tub.

How do you know that there's a monster in your bath? You can't get the shower curtain closed.

May: What position does your brother play in the school football team ? Jay: I think he's one of the drawbacks !

Mom: Joe, time for your medicine. Joe: I'll run the bath then. Mom: Why? Joe: Because on the bottle it says "to be taken in water."

Mum, does God use the bathroom? No, what a funny question! Then why did Dad say this morning, 'Oh, God, are you still in there?'

My mother says I look just like an animal when I'm in the bath - a little bear.

Ned: Boy! Was I ever in hot water last night ! Ed: You were? What did you do ? Ned: I took a bath !

Nick: Can you tell me the way to Bath? Rick: I use soap and water, personally.

Robot: I have to dry my feet carefully after a bath. Monster: Why? Robot: Otherwise I get rusty nails.

Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them ? Stan: In the bathroom Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a ba...

The plumber was working in a house when the lady of the house said to him, "Will it be alright if I have a bath while you're having your lunch...

Two small time thieves had been sent by the Big Boss to steal a van load of goods from a bathroom suppliers. One stayed in the van as look out...

What animal do you look like when you get into the bath ? A little bear !

What criminal doesn't take baths? A dirty crook.