Joke Category Beauty jokes

First Witch: I went to the beauty parlor yesterday. I was there for three hours. Second Witch: Oh, what did you have done? First witch: Noth...

Last night I dreamt I was dancing with the most beautiful girl in the world What was I wearing ?

"My boyfriend says I look like a dishy Italian!"said Miss Conceited. ''Then he's right said her little brother.''Sophia Loren?'' "No-spaghetti...

Monster: I'm so ugly. Ghost: It's not that bad! Monster: It is! When my grandfather was born they passed out cigars. When my father was born...

Fred: What's that terribly ugly thing on your shoulders? Harry: Help! What is it? Fred: Your head!

Did you hear about the girl monster who wasn't pretty and wasn't ugly ? She was pretty ugly

"My boyfriend says I look like a dishy Italian!"said Miss Conceited. ''Then he's right said her little brother.''Sophia Loren?'' "No-spaghetti...

A little boy came running into the kitchen. 'Dad, dad' he said, 'there's a monster at the door with a really ugly face' 'Tell him you've alre...

A monster went to the doctor with a branch growing out of his head. "Hmmm," said the doctor. "I've no idea what it is." The next week the bra...

A witch went into a beauty parlor and asked the assistant how much it would cost to make her look like a film star. "Nothing," replied the ass...

A woman went to a sweet store to buy some sweets. The boy behind the counter said "Gosh, your ugly aren't you?, I've never seen anyone so hide...

Beautician: Did that mud pack I gave you for your girlfriend improve her appearance ? Man: It did for a while - then it fell off.

Bill: My sister has lovely long red hair all down her back. Will: Pity it's not on her head.

Did you hear about the witch who did a four year course in ugliness? She finished it in two.

Did you hear about the girl monster who wasn't pretty and wasn't ugly ? She was pretty ugly

Don't look out of the window, Betty, people will think it's Halloween.

First girl: I spend hours in front of the mirror admiring my beauty. Do you think that's vanity? Second girl: No, it's imagination.

First Witch: I went to the beauty parlor yesterday. I was there for three hours. Second Witch: Oh, what did you have done? First witch: Noth...

First witch: My beauty is timeless. Second witch: Yes, it could stop a clock.

Fred keeps telling me that he's going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world. Oh, what a shame! And you've been engaged for such a long...

Fred: What's that terribly ugly thing on your shoulders? Harry: Help! What is it? Fred: Your head!

Girlfriend: Will you love me when I'm old and fat and ugly? Boyfriend: Of course I do !

I can't understand why people say my girlfriend's legs look like matchsticks. They do look like sticks - but they certainly don't match.

I don't think these photographs you've taken do me justice. You don't want justice - you want mercy !

I'm not ugly. I could marry anyone I pleased! But that's the problem - you don't please anyone.

I've just come back from the beauty parlour. Pity it was closed!

Julie had broken off her engagement. Her friend asked her what had happened. 'I thought it was love at first sight,' said Julie. 'It was, bu...

Last night I dreamt I was dancing with the most beautiful girl in the world What was I wearing ?

Little Johnny and his mother were on a train. Johnny leant over and started to whisper in his mother's ear. 'Johnny, how many times have I to...

Mary: Do you think my sister's pretty ? Gary: Well, let's just say if you pulled her pigtail she'd probably say 'oink, oink '!

Monster: I'm so ugly. Ghost: It's not that bad! Monster: It is! When my grandfather was born they passed out cigars. When my father was born...