Joke Category Bus jokes

Have you heard that all the buses and trains are stopping today? No. Is there a strike? No, they're stopping to let the passengers off.

Bus passenger: I'd like a ticket to New York, please. Ticket seller: By Buffalo? Bus passenger: Of course not, I'm in the bus queue, aren't ...

What did the bus conductor say to the frog? Hop on.

What do monsters play when they are in the bus? Squash.

Roger was sitting in a very full bus when a fat woman opposite said, "If you were a gentleman, young man, you'd stand up and let someone else ...

Passenger: Does this bus go to London? Conductor: No. Passenger: But it says London on the front. Conductor: There's an advertisement for ba...

A man standing at a bus stop was eating a hamburger. Next to him stood a lady with her little dog, which became very excited at the smell of t...

A man trying to get on an overcrowded bus was pushed off by the people inside. There's no room,' they said. 'It's full up!' 'But you must let ...

As the bus came to the stop, the man at the front of the queue took out his eye, threw it up in the air and caught it before getting on the bu...

Bus passenger: I'd like a ticket to New York, please. Ticket seller: By Buffalo? Bus passenger: Of course not, I'm in the bus queue, aren't ...

Conductor, do you stop at the Savoy Hotel? I should say not, on my salary!

Conductor, this bus was very slow! Oh, I expect we'll pick up speed now you're getting off!

Cross-eyed monster: When I grow up I want to be a bus driver. Witch: Well, I won't stand in your way.

Cross-Eyed Monster: When I grow up I want to be a bus driver. Witch: Well, I won't stand in your way.

Did you say that you fell over fifty feet but didn't hurt yourself? Yes - I was trying to get to the back of the bus.

Do buses and trains run on time? Usually, yes. No, they don't. Buses run on wheels and trains run on the tracks.

Does this bus stop at the river? If it doesn't there'll be a very big splash.

Have you heard that all the buses and trains are stopping today? No. Is there a strike? No, they're stopping to let the passengers off.

Have you seen the bus website? Yes - it's just the ticket!

How can you kill an idiot with half a dollar? Throw it under a bus.

How do eels get around the seabed? They go by octobus.

Is everyone in the bus?' asked the driver before he closed the door. 'No,' called a lady, 'wait until I get my clothes on.' All the pass...

Janet: What's the difference between a cake and a school bus ? Jill: I don't know. Janet: I'm glad I didn't send you to pick up my birthday ca...

Passenger: Does this bus go to London? Conductor: No. Passenger: But it says London on the front. Conductor: There's an advertisement for ba...

Passenger: Will this bus take me to New York? Driver: Which part? Passenger: All of me, of course!

Q: What is a bus ? A: A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Roger was sitting in a very full bus when a fat woman opposite said, "If you were a gentleman, young man, you'd stand up and let someone else ...

Sam left work after a tiring day. 'Take the bus home,' suggested a friend. 'My mother would only make me take it back,' Sam said.

Teacher: Tommy Russell, you're late again. Tommy: Sorry, sir. It's my bus - it's always coming late. Teacher: Well, if it's late again tomorro...

What "bus" crossed the ocean? Columbus.

What did the bus conductor say to the frog? Hop on.