Joke Category Divorce jokes

Ruby Alice walked up to the desk of a Bowling Green motel and signed the register with the letter "O." "Why'd you put that circle down?" a...

Definition of Divorce: The future tense of marriage.

A middle-aged Jewish guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday. He says, "So what would you like, Julie? A Jagua...

A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.

Q: How many divorcees does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: None. The sockets all went with the house.

Two men are talking. The first sez, "I got married because I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry and wearing shabby...

A guy calls up his ex-wife and, disguising his voice, asks to speak to himself. "Sorry, he doesn't live here anymore, we're divorced!" N...

A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.

A hillbilly walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for divorce. Attorney: "May I help you?" Hillbilly: "Yea, I want to get one o...

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the...

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" She replied, "About four...

A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says, "Please tell me why you are s...

A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, "Honey, I ...

A middle-aged Jewish guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday. He says, "So what would you like, Julie? A Jagua...

A ninety-year-old couple decide to get a divorce. They go to the judge and say, "Judge, we want a divorce." The judge says, "You've been mar...

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divo...

Definition of Divorce: The future tense of marriage.

Did you hear about the lawyer whose divorce ended up in a nasty custody fight about a dog? When the lawyer won, the dog bit him.

I have this friend who has a real dilemma. His wife won't give him a divorce until she figures out a way of doing it without making him a happ...

Miss DeAngelo was a none-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star. She didn't find fame or glory, but ...

Mrs. Caroline Squires of Cincinnati filed for a divorce from her husband in 1949 on grounds of desertion. She testified he'd stepped out "for ...

My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't.

Q. What do a hurricane, a tornado, and a redneck divorce all have in common? A. Someone's going to lose their trailer...

Q: How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, the sockets go with the house.

Q: How many divorcees does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: None. The sockets all went with the house.

Q: Why do divorced men get married again? A: Bad memory.

Question: What's the major cause of divorce? Answer: Once is not enough.

Question: Why is divorce so expensive? Answer: Because it's worth it.

Ralph was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a present. He drove to the mall a...

Regardless of what you may hear, there's still many women these days who are excellent "housekeepers". Seems each time they get a divorce, the...

Ruby Alice walked up to the desk of a Bowling Green motel and signed the register with the letter "O." "Why'd you put that circle down?" a...