Joke Category Face jokes

I don't know where you got your face from, but i hope you have the receipt.

You can read his mind in his face. Yes, it's usually a complete blank.

Once there was a church that had a bell that no one could ring. One day, a boy came and asked the priest if he could try. So the boy went up i...

What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter? The producer said she had the perfect face for radio.

What is the hottest part of a man's face? His sideburns.

Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because it is the scenter (centre).

"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?" "No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."

A little boy came running into the kitchen. "Dad, dad," he said, "there's a monster at the door with a really ugly face." "Tell him you've alre...

A woman just back from Arizona was telling her friends about the trip. "When my husband first saw the Grand Canyon, his face dropped a mile,...

Boy monster: You've got a face like a million dollars ! Girl monster: Have I really ? Boy monster: Yes - it's green and wrinkly !

Boy: You've got a face like a million dollars. Girl: Have I really? Boy: Yes ? it's green and wrinkly.

Counselor: Wash your face. I can see what you had for breakfast. Henry: If you're so smart, what did I have? Counselor: Eggs. Henry: Wrong. I...

Did you hear about the witch who was so ugly that when a tear rolls down her cheek it takes one look at her face and rolls straight up again?

First Witch: I like your toad. He always has such a nice expression on his face. Second Witch: It's because he's a hoptimist.

Fred's new girlfriend uses such greasy lipstick that he has to sprinkle his face with sand to get a better grip.

Fred: Do you like my new hairstyle? Harry: In as much as it covers most of your face, yes.

Fred: You have the face of a saint. Jill: Really? Which one? Fred: A Saint Bernard.

Fred: You've got a Roman nose. Harry: Like Julius Caesar? Fred: No, it's roamin' all over your face.

Fred: Your sister uses too much make-up. Harry: Do you think so? Fred: Yes. It's so thick that if you tell her a joke, five minutes after sh...

How did your mom know you hadn't washed your face? I forgot to wet the soap.

I don't know where you got your face from, but i hope you have the receipt.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

Louise was watching her big sister covering her face with cream. "What's that for?" she asked. "To make me beautiful," came the reply. Lou...

My teacher's got a pretty face if you can read between the lines.

Once there was a church that had a bell that no one could ring. One day, a boy came and asked the priest if he could try. So the boy went up i...

Patient: The trouble is, doctor, I keep pulling ugly faces. Doctor: Don't worry, I don't expect anyone will notice.

Q.What do me and a mirror have in common? A.When we see your face we both crack up!

Teacher: What a glum face, what would you say if I came to school with a face like yours ? Pupil: I'd be too polite to mention it !

Two boys were watching TV when the fabulous face and figure of Pamela Anderson appeared on the screen. "if I ever stop hating girls," said one...

What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter? The producer said she had the perfect face for radio.

What is grey and hairy and lives on a man's face? A mousetache.