Joke Category Funny jokes - 50 best jokes

"I was married 3 times" explained the man to a newly discovered drinking partner, "and I'll never marry again. My first 2 wives died of eating...

A drunk stammers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He runs up to them and says, ''I'm Jesus Christ.'' The first priest says, ''No, s...

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? - She starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

A husband and wife entered the dentist's office. The husband said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terri...

After my wife and her former best buddy, another Air Force wife, were separated by a move that posted one husband on the opposite coast, the te...

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night." "Have you tried coun...

"I was married 3 times" explained the man to a newly discovered drinking partner, "and I'll never marry again. My first 2 wives died of eating...

"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?" "No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."

"Will I ever be able to race my horse again" the owner asked the vet. The vet replied, "You certainly will, and you'll probably beat her too!"

A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The ...

A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their c...

A couple decided that the only way to have a quickie while their ten-year- old son was in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and...

A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, "I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday." Well, you can imag...

A drunk stammers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He runs up to them and says, ''I'm Jesus Christ.'' The first priest says, ''No, s...

A husband and wife entered the dentist's office. The husband said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terri...

A Jewish guy called Jacob finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate t...

A lawyer with insomnia consulted her doctor. "Which side is it best to lie on?" she asked. "The side that pays your fee," replied the doctor.

A little boy walked down the aisle at a wedding. As he made his way to the front, he would take two steps, then stop, and turn to the crowd, a...

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft...

A minister gave a talk to the Lions Club on sex. When he got home, he couldn't tell his wife that he had spoken about sex, so he said he had di...

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'...

After my wife and her former best buddy, another Air Force wife, were separated by a move that posted one husband on the opposite coast, the te...

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night." "Have you tried coun...

An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says " W...

Do vampires get AIDS?

Do you know what a mice said when it saw a bat? Mom ! I see an angel.

Does killing time damage eternity?

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? - She starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was na...

One day there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it and the other boy couldn't figure out wh...

Q. What does a woman's asshole do when she is having an orgasm? A. He is usually home with the kids!