Joke Category History jokes

Why did the Pilgrims create Thanksgiving? They wanted another excuse to watch football.

Woman: Why are you begging for a quarter? Beggar: I didn't think someone like you would give me a dollar.

"What did George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common? They were all born on holidays."

Teacher: "What did the Indians bring to the first Thanksgiving?" Student: "Baseballs." Teacher: "Baseballs?" Student: "Yeah, they were Cle...

What did General Patton do on Thanksgiving? He gave tanks.

Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood, he had to walk 7 miles to school everyday. Well he should have got up earlier and caught the school ...

"What did George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common? They were all born on holidays."

"You know an ancestor of mine came over on the Mayflower." "Really? Which rat was he?"

Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood, he had to walk 7 miles to school everyday. Well he should have got up earlier and caught the school ...

Do you know the 20th President of the United States ? No, we were never introduced !

How did Columbus's men sleep on their ships ? With their eyes shut !

How did you do in your tests ? I did what George Washington did ! What was that ? Went down in history !

I'm learning ancient history ? So am I, lets go for a walk and talk over old times !

If Atlas supported the world on his shoulders, who supported Atlas ? His wife !

My teacher reminds me of history She's always repeating herself !

Q: Where does Napolean keep his armies? A: In his sleevies!

Teacher: "What did the Indians bring to the first Thanksgiving?" Student: "Baseballs." Teacher: "Baseballs?" Student: "Yeah, they were Cle...

The Spanish explorers went round the world in a galleon. How many galleons did the get to the mile !

What did Caesar say to Cleopatra ? Toga-ether we can rule the world !

What did General Patton do on Thanksgiving? He gave tanks.

What did King Arthur sleep with when he was afraid of the dark? A knight light

What did Napoleon become when he was 41 years old ? A year older on his birthday !

What did Paul Revere say when he got on his horse? Giddy up horsey !

What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet? Egyptian dummies.

What did they do at the Boston Tea Party ? I don't know, I wasn't invited !

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common ? They both have 'the' as their middle names !

What do history teachers make when they want to get together ? Dates !

What does the 1286BC incribed on the mummy's tomb indicate ? The registration of the car that ran him over !

What English King invented the fireplace ? Alfred the grate !

What famous chiropodist ruled England ? William the Corn-cutter!

What was Camelot ? A place where people parked their camels !