Joke Category Judge jokes

Judge: All your responses to the questions must be oral. Do you understand? A: Yes Judge: What school did you attend in the fall of 1995? A: ...

Judge: Are you married? A. No, I'm divorced. Judge. And what did your husband do before you divorced him? A. A lot of things I didn't know abou...

Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. "So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe." B...

A young woman was appearing in court to face a public disorder charge. The charges were read out, and she was asked how she pleaded. "Not gu...

Judge: "Is it true that you owe your neighbor a thousand dollars?" Defendant: "Yes, it's true." Judge: "Then, why don't you just pay him back?...

People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made.

A young woman was appearing in court to face a public disorder charge. The charges were read out, and she was asked how she pleaded. "Not gu...

A lawyer passed on and found himself in Heaven, but not at all happy with his accommodations. He complained to St. Peter, who told him that hi...

A prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman, to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do yo...

A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply wasn't tru...

A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply wasn't tru...

At night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge. The judge said, "State your name, occupation, and the charge." The defendant sa...

Before a burglary trial, the judge explained to the defendant, "You can let me try your case, or you can choose to have a jury of your peers."...

How is a judge like an English teacher? They both hand out long sentences.

How many judges does it take to change a light bulb? Just one; he holds it still and the whole world revolves around him. Just one, but two la...

It seems that a lawyer had a little bit too much to drink and on his way home rear-ended the car in front of him. The lawyer got out of his ca...

Judge to witness: "And where was the location of the accident?" Witness: "Approximately milepost 499." Judge:: "And where is milepost 499?...

Judge: "Is it true that you owe your neighbor a thousand dollars?" Defendant: "Yes, it's true." Judge: "Then, why don't you just pay him back?...

Judge: All your responses to the questions must be oral. Do you understand? A: Yes Judge: What school did you attend in the fall of 1995? A: ...

Judge: Are you married? A. No, I'm divorced. Judge. And what did your husband do before you divorced him? A. A lot of things I didn't know abou...

Judge: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are on dead people.

Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case? Juror: I don't want to be away from my job that long. Judge: C...

Judge: What is your relationship with the plaintiff? A: She is my daughter. Judge: Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?

Judge: You stated that the stairs went down to the basement, is that correct? A: Yes. Judge: And these same stairs, did the also go up?

Judge: Your first marriage was terminated by death? A: Yes, by death. Judge: And by whose death was it terminated?

Jury: Twelve men and women trying to decide which party has the best lawyer. Justice: A decision in your favor.

Mr. Schneider stood up in court. "As God is my judge, I do not owe my ex-wife any money." Glaring down at him, the judge replied, "He's not....

People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made.

Prosecutor: Did you kill the victim? Defendant: No, I did not. Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties are for perjury? Defendant: Yes, I do...

Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. "So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe." B...

The cross eyed judge looked at the three defendants in the dock and said to the first one, "So how do you plead?" "Not guilty" said the second ...