Joke Category Lawyer jokes A

An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. "I want to become a lawyer. How much is it or the express ...

At a convention of biological scientists one researcher remarks to another: "Did you know that in our lab we have switched from mice to lawyer...

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was very strong evidence indicating guilt, but no corpse had been found. In the defense's closing s...

A lawyer with insomnia consulted her doctor. "Which side is it best to lie on?" she asked. "The side that pays your fee," replied the doctor.

A person is in the hospital and asked his doctor how much time does he have left to live. The doctor did not want to lie so he told him that ...

A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and considerable damage. There's no sign of the offending vehicle but he's reli...

A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the inf...

A persistent job-seeker once appeared before President Lincoln and demanded an appointment to a judgeship. He was informed that there were no ...

A woman was being questioned in a court trial involving slander. "Please repeat the slanderous statements you heard, exactly as you heard them...

A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section ...

A convicted con man was recently found to be impersonating a lawyer in New York City. To which one judge remarked, "I should have suspected he...

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was very strong evidence indicating guilt, but no corpse had been found. In the defense's closing s...

A doctor was vacationing at the seashore with his family. Suddenly, he spotted a fin sticking up in the water and fainted. "Darling, it was j...

A Frenchman, an Englishman, an American man, and a lawyer were sitting on a train. The Frenchman offered everyone some of his baguette, then...

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright p...

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a l...

A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and considerable damage. There's no sign of the offending vehicle but he's reli...

A lawyer with insomnia consulted her doctor. "Which side is it best to lie on?" she asked. "The side that pays your fee," replied the doctor.

A local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contrib...

A man walks into a friend and sees that his friend's car is total loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his f...

A person is in the hospital and asked his doctor how much time does he have left to live. The doctor did not want to lie so he told him that ...

A tough case was being argued in court. The defense attorney, feeling that he was in trouble, sent the judge a bottle of hundred-year old bran...

An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. "I want to become a lawyer. How much is it or the express ...

At a convention of biological scientists one researcher remarks to another: "Did you know that in our lab we have switched from mice to lawyer...