Joke Category Military jokes A

A destroyer pulled into a foreign port, and put down maximum liberty. The skeleton crew didn't notice a chimpanzee, escaped from a nearby civi...

A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower, and realized that his clothes were missing. And then he accidentally locked himself out of th...

Airmen had to launch two E-3 AWACS from a National Guard base after a heavey snow strom. Well after a 5 hour delay waiting for the snow to be ...

As he was drilling a batch of recruits, the sergeant saw that one of them was marching out of step. Walking up next to the man as they marched...

A draftee went in for his physical wearing a truss and with a little convincing acting got his papers marked M.E. for Medically Exempt. Aft...

A retired sergeant was asked: "Well, how do you like civilian life?" "Terrible," he said gruffly, "all those people around and nobody in char...

A soldier keeps a mug upside down and tells the sergeant: - I can't drink from this mug. It has no opening. The sergeant examines the mug ...

A trooper asks a sergeant: - Is it true that man descended from a monkey? - Yes, troopers possibly were. But not sergeants.

A destroyer pulled into a foreign port, and put down maximum liberty. The skeleton crew didn't notice a chimpanzee, escaped from a nearby civi...

A draftee went in for his physical wearing a truss and with a little convincing acting got his papers marked M.E. for Medically Exempt. Aft...

A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'l...

A general calls a colonel: - Do you have a couple of smart majors? - Yes I do. - Send them to me. I need to move my furniture around.

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's not it" an...

A Maintenance Battalion in Germany had just received a brand new Executive Officer, an Armor Major. The Major proceeded to issue new SOP direc...

A patrol of allied soldiers were in a ruined city during World War Two. They are bragging and joshing about how many kills they have so far to...

A recruit examines the food served to him in the batallion dining room. - Do I have any choice here, he asks a sergeant. - Yes, you do. Yo...

A retired sergeant was asked: "Well, how do you like civilian life?" "Terrible," he said gruffly, "all those people around and nobody in char...

A sailor in the Navy who had been at sea for a long time was anxious to be reunited with his girlfriend, so he sent her the following message ...

A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower, and realized that his clothes were missing. And then he accidentally locked himself out of th...

A solider stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his free time and keep his m...

A trio of old veterans were bragging about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one afternoon down at the VFW hall. "My great grandfathe...

A warrant officer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess". H...

A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain. "What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?"...

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insuranc...

Airmen had to launch two E-3 AWACS from a National Guard base after a heavey snow strom. Well after a 5 hour delay waiting for the snow to be ...

An Air Force cargo plane was preparing for departure from Thule Air Base in Greenland. They were waiting for the truck to arrive to pump out t...

An airforce officer goes to heaven and at the gate St Peter asks him if he has ever done anything in his life that he believes makes him worth...

An Army Ranger was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However, he was not prepared to pay the ...

An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli ar...

As he was drilling a batch of recruits, the sergeant saw that one of them was marching out of step. Walking up next to the man as they marched...

As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son had an announcement to make: He'd just signed up at an army recruiter's off...