Famous Quotes Name W

Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under observation.

God help those who do not help themselves.

It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.

More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to utter hopelessness and despair, the other to total extinction. Let us hope we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath a pedestal

We were married by a reformed rabbi in Long Island. A very reformed rabbi. A Nazi.

For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.

Is sex dirty? Only if you do it right.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick, not wounded: dead.

Eternity is a long time, especially towards the end.

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Bisexuality automatically doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.

Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.

It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought - particularly for people who cannot remember where they left things.

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Nothing worth knowing can be understood with the mind.

When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.

Should I marry W. Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name.

The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

I am at two with nature.